Why does Chip seem to think it is necessary for him to sit on my iPod? You are not an effing hen and that is not a baby chick. Please remove your white fluffy ass from my brand new toy!! And while I'm on it, could we please stay at our bowls to eat? I am talking to you white and skinny. That's right lil girl, there is no need for you to stuff your mouth with as much food as possible, run to my couch spit it out on the cushions, and then proceed to eat it and leave little dog food pieces all over my freshly cleaned couch! I promise that there is nothing scary over there at your food bowl. There is not some strange monster that will come out of your food bowl and attack you. And while we're having this conversation could you please work on the whole poop in the kennel thing? I know it doesn't happen all the time but it really shouldn't be happening at all. You are over a year old now, I have been as patient as I can be, I think it's time you were fully "potty trained." Mmkay? Thanks.
The Mrs.
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